Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It’s Back To Work We Go!

I took the week between Christmas and New Years as vacation time. What with the job, the store, the family (and their penchant for celebrating birthdays in December), and the undead, a rest was sorely needed. It was marvelous! There were naps. I read a few books and caught up on some magazines. Helen & I finished up past episodes of The Office and got sucked into the first season of Friday Night Lights.  We also got to relax with the four legged creatures that run our household, which was greatly appreciated. Over the course of an evening, I had three cats reclining on various parts of my legs. Not only do they provide a tremendous amount of comfort, but the heat that radiates off their bodies could be used to warm a small nation.

We got a chance to play with new toys that we received for Christmas. Helen had lots of success with her bandanas while my cat toys were met with derision at first by the felines, but, once they caught whiff of the catnip buried inside, with more interest. I’m getting better at closing up the final seams, but they’re still a little wonky.

One of the best parts of having a week off was the freedom from time. I didn’t have to be anywhere at a certain time, I could sleep in (as much as is possible with two young dogs), and when I wanted to stop something, I could. There is so much power in doing things at your own pace. I got more accomplished during a week of relaxing than I did in the three weeks leading up to Christmas at my job.

Since coming back yesterday, I’m finding it difficult to focus on “work” stuff. There are so many other things I’d rather be doing. Helen is sending me pictures of jewelry to order for the store and there is a sick cat at home (who is getting better all the time – thank you for your well wishes) and god! what I wouldn’t do for a nap right about now:) The day is coming when I will rule my schedule. Until then, I will  squirrel away my money so I will be ready when opportunity knocks.

YOU TAKE THE GOOD, YOU TAKE THE BAD….

There are definitely some good points of working for a construction company. When your bulkhead looks like this,

i.e. full of holes that the landlord doesn’t want to fix because it’s going to cost too much and he thinks that the town is ultimately responsible for the work but the town thinks it’s his property/his responsibility and meanwhile two mid-sized dogs are doing their best to dig their way through to the water, it’s nice to work for a company that can send someone out to cover up all the holes in under two hours and charge you only a fraction of the cost.

And if those same two mid-sized dogs heard something in the wall and went berserk and ate an entire panel of drywall, you have no idea how thankful you might be that you work for a company who specializes in putting up drywall and can help you fix the hole in no time flat! And while you might be tempted to trade said dogs in for a less digging model, one will come and lay their head in your lap and you remember that you like them, just a little bit, and all is well with the world again.

LIKE SANDS THROUGH THE HOUR GLASS …

I was looking for an old post and started going through my archives. Wow, I used to write a lot! And now, not so much. I’m laying the blame at the feet of these two.

No, really. They may look all cute and cuddly, but they are a huge time-suck! If they’re in, they want to be out. If they’re out, they want you out there with them. If you don’t jump right on that, they wiggle under the fence and fall in the river.

My only problem is that I adore the little buggers! I don’t mind (much) standing out in the rain and cold with them to make sure they don’t bathe themselves in mud. And I’m completely intrigued by how they react to the training we’re doing with them. It’s fascinating to watch for the light bulb moment, when they “get” what you’re trying to do with them.

I generally don’t write about my job, mostly because I’m horribly unhappy at it right now. It was okay when I was working on things I understood, but I spend most of my days putting together submittals for products I don’t fully understand, thereby making me feel inadequate at what I do. I hate not doing well at my job! But I’m not interested in construction so I cannot whip up the desire to learn more about furring channels and expansion joints and cold formed metal framing.

There does not seem to be anywhere for me to go here. What can a Liberal Arts major who loves to read and write do in the construction business? Right now, my job seems to be regressing to more and more secretarial work. Since the receptionist quit to follow her dream of haircare, and they refuse to hire anyone to take her place (we’re in a recession, if you hadn’t heard), my day is taken more with answering phones, ordering lunches and helping the estimating department fill out the unit pricing forms, because they can’t work the computer programs. I wish I had the guts to just walk out but there is a responsibility gene that I’m stuck with (her name is Helen) that won’t allow me to leave without a 6 month cushion so we don’t become destitute and have to move back in with my parents. So for now, we save and try to find alternate forms of employment that will allow us to work at home, with my dogs!

My latest desire is to become a dog trainer. I only have 300 hours and about 10 years of training in front of me. No problem.

WORK CONVERSATION

I just had this conversation with two co-workers:

Co-worker #1: “What do you do when you go in the back every day?”

Me: “I keep my superhero cape back there. I do a quick change, fly out and save someone in distress, then change back into my street clothes and go back to my desk.”

Co-worker #1 is looking at me in a very strange way.

Co-worker #2 (sarcastic guy): “It doesn’t take you very long. What kind of saving do you do?”

Me: “I wouldn’t me much of a superhero if I did everything at normal person speed, now would I?”

They both look confused.

Me: “I’m changing the backup tape for the server, okay?” (sigh)

Yeah, I really shouldn’t be working here.

This was a 10 minute writing exercise. Other than fixing punctuation and capitalization, I’ve left it as is. Dangling participle and all. I apologize for that.

I have been disenchanted with my job for a little while now. My responsibilities changed last September to include more construction related documents and less accounting. I’m comfortable with numbers, I understand them. I do not understand furring and what the difference is between batt and thermal insulation. I’m not stupid, I just don’t care. In a big way! I’ve slowly become more unhappy as the months pass and there doesn’t seem to be anything else for me to do.

This feeling is now beginning to carry over into my “at home” life. Before I was okay at work (not thrilled, but not unhappy) but I got to go home to my business where I could do things I liked doing and do them my way. And it was okay. Now, I’m not as happy at home either because I’m stressing about what’s happening at work.

Ideally, I would love it if I could just walk out and work for myself. The store traffic is picking up a bit because the Christmas season is coming (I know, scary right?) but it’s not nearly enough to replace my salary. I keep playing the lottery, but that’s not working either. So what do I do?

I have a job, which, in this economy, says a lot. I have an okay paying job that gives me two weeks vacation and a bonus, which, even though it’s gotten smaller every year, is still something extra every december. We didn’t get raises last year, actually, we had to take a pay cut but that way the owners could keep more people on the payroll. And it wasn’t enough to make a huge difference. I’m sure if I got paid more, it would hurt more, but not for my paycheck. The owners and the people in my office, for the most part, are very nice. It’s just the subject matter of the work I can’t get into.

I’m a creative person. I have really cool ideas. I can’t always carry them out because the creativity doesn’t seem to extend to my hands. It’s all in my mind. But where I’m at now, I’m not using any of it. And I miss that.

There is an opening at the local college. It’s for an entry level position in today’s version of the typing pool. You’d fill in for people going on vacation. There would be a lot of answering phones and filing. But there’s always the possibility of another, better job opening, and I’m pretty sure they try to hire from within first. So, do I chuck everything I’ve done for the past five years to go back to the beginning, with the chance of a better job on the horizon? Or do I stick it out and see whether anything opens here that suits me better? I’m not sure there is anything in construction that I am well suited for.

I just took a call at my job from someone at a local rectory asking if someone could come over and give him a quote on some drywall work, for a 10×18 room. We don’t do work that small. We don’t do work as small as the rectory as a whole, actually. We do hospitals and university buildings and public schools and casinos. And baseball stadiums (Yankee fans, you’re welcome! Nationals fans too!)

But I went to check with the head of the office anyway. Because you know the one time I summarily dismiss a rector like that, it will turn out to be someone’s local parish and it will be one more strike against me when I try to get out of hell, and I’m already on the 7th level all by myself, so I really don’t need any extra help, thank you very much.

As it turns out, we only do commercial work and this is not the right job for us. But you know what? The strike is now against the head of the office, not me, cause I did the right thing. It’s called passing the buck!

BLINDSIDED

Now that I have had time to adjust to the news about changes in my job, I am not bothered that much by the fact that they are giving some of my responsibilities to someone else. No, wait – that’s not true. It’s bothering the ever-loving hell out of me. I wish I could be this calm, collected person who just takes it all in stride but I’m not. I’m taking it extremely personally. What!? I’m not doing a good enough job for you? I’m pretty sure, when I look at it rationally, the real reason is the other person doesn’t have enough to keep her busy since our workload is so diminished and, since she handles the rest of the accounting stuff, it’s a natural to pass these things to her.

BUT! But, but — that is not the point of this post. The point is the way I was informed of these changes. I was completely blindsided at a meeting with everyone else from the office in attendance. There was no opportunity of asking questions (as if I could manage to do that without crying – damn xx chromosomes!) or reacting without everyone looking at me. I have no idea if I showed any emotion during that hour or not. I do know I came close to vomiting immediately afterwards, and that when I spoke to Helen on the phone, I burst into tears, but luckily I was outside and away from everyone else.

Now, I have a question. Would you, if you had prior knowledge of a big change affecting a co-worker (work friend), let them know ahead of time? I would have given the friend a heads up, even if I couldn’t go into specifics. Just a “something’s coming that you’re not going to like – I can’t say anything else” email or IM or something. Is this a female thing? Is this a me thing?

According to my mother, in front of whom I broke down all over again when I told her about it, men are a) brutes and b) insensitive to anything that does not specifically and immediately involve them. She figures, and I agree, that the males in my office will think that I was sulking and not understand or even realize there was a reason for why I withdrew into my office for the rest of the day. And I could tell them that I was walking the very fine line between keeping it all together and bursting into tears and they would be flabbergasted that the news affected me that way. I’m taking it too personally. It’s only a job. Yeah, well you know what? It’s MY job! And I do it very well. And by taking those bits, you have undermined everything I’ve done to this point!

Of course, that is my opinion and I will never put it to the test. I sat down with the person taking over my responsibilities on Friday to train her to use the system that I built up from the beginning. I did not program it but I’m the one responsible for putting all the info into it and molding it to do what we need it to do. And I will hand over to her all the stuff that for which she is now responsible. I will try and hide my anger and bitterness, and most of all my hurt feelings. Who knows? Maybe they have other plans for me. But if they do, they could have said something. And the minute I hear of a different job, I will be on it in a shot!

THIS MEETING WILL COME TO ORDER …

Today was a morning of meetings. First at our office meeting, we found out that responsibilities will be shifting from those that have more to do (me) to those who do not. I do not have any say in what I get to keep, otherwise I would be getting rid of filing sooo quickly! No, instead I will be passing on the more interesting work I do. But on a good note, I get to do the mail now. Whoopee for me:D Oh, yeah and I’m moving my office to the front part of the building across from someone I have a very strained relationship with, so that’s going to be all sorts of fun!

Then, at noon, we had our company wide meeting where we were told that everyone would have to continue our 10% paycut through the end of the year, only now we will not be taking furlough days. We will revisit how the company is doing in January. At both meetings, we were told to keep smiling because, you know – we still have our jobs, unlike the ones laid off. Like we need to be reminded of that!

So, yeah – the first part of my day basically sucked! However it ended well. Tomorrow I’ll show you what Helen got me as an early birthday present to make me feel better.

DOWNSIZING

Things are a little tense at work right now. Earlier in the summer, the higher ups told everyone there would be mandatory 10% pay cuts across the board, which we could offset by taking a furlough day every two weeks. The company would then revisit the state of the economy in the Fall. September is now here and our office has already let two of our own go – an estimator and a project manager, one of whom had been with the company for over 9 years.

Tomorrow, we are having an office meeting to go over new responsibilities for those of us left. There is also talk about some of us moving our offices from the back of the building up to the front. This is more frightening than anything else for me – they’re going to want me to clean out my office. I’m not sure that’s possible:}

Then at noon, we’re having the company-wide meeting with all the offices joining in. I’m sure we’ll be hearing about many other people who have been let go this week. I am so grateful to still have my job but this is not a fun time to be working here. Everyone is on edge and tempers are fraying. I don’t know whether tomorrow’s gathering will alleviate the tension or not. I need to go to my happy place —

Stay tuned ….

RELAX AND ENJOY – THIS WON’T HURT A BIT!

I’m always a little … apprehensive when I make a trip for the first time, especially if there’s a time crunch involved. Yesterday I made my maiden voyage to Jersey City by Public Transportation. It involved taking a train to Newark’s Penn Station and then switching to the PATH train which trundled me into Journal Square. From there I walked a few blocks to the building in which the seminar was being held.

Traveling by train and PATH/subway is nothing new to me – I do live in the suburbs of New York City after all, and spent some time after college working in the city. But I haven’t really done anything in Jersey City at all.

To prepare, I printed Google map directions and programmed everything into my iPhone. I looked up train and PATH schedules so I could manage my timing. However, no matter how much I prepare myself, there’s always something I don’t foresee – like a PATH station that’s under construction and next to impossible to figure out how to exit, and a foible I should accept as part of my general make-up – namely a deplorable lack of direction. No matter what the map says, there are chances I will head off in the wrong direction. Much like Joey in the Friend’s episode that takes place in London, I need to step on the map to be sure I’m pointing the right way. Once I get that established, I rock at directions. It’s just that first step that I truly suck at.

However, once the first trip is under my belt, I remember mistakes made and inevitably shave several minutes off my trip the next day. And what truly amazes me is the sense of ease I feel in repeated trips. Once I fix the end point in a tangible spot, I can even begin substituting routes to get there. e.g. This morning, knowing where the convention center was in relation to the PATH station, I found a faster way, by cutting out five or six blocks that I unnecessarily walked yesterday. I found a spot to buy my diet coke since I stupidly left my lunch at home and I even discovered a Dunkin‘ Donuts to feed my chocolate craving should it pop up. It’s really too bad I won’t be working there on a regular basis – I’m old hat at this by now.