THE MOSQUITO DIARIES

If you are a mosquito lover or you voted for one in the last election, you might want to bypass this post. I live in NJ – mosquitoes are our state bird (no, not really) – however, that doesn’t mean I have to like the little buggers (snort!)
The other night, I woke to the high pitched whine hum that can mean only one thing – there’s a mosquito loose in the room. It happened at 4:15 in the morning and with my finely tuned sense of hearing, managed to poke myself in both eyes trying to kill it. What?! It’s still dark at 4:15 you know!
I finally snor(t)ed the bug as I was falling back asleep and I think I may have gotten a little buzz from doing it. Is this the new party drug in college? Kids getting tiny little highs from sniffing mosquitoes? I can see them – sniff, high for approximately 2.3 seconds, then crashing. Not unlike twitching.
I kept thinking “I hope it doesn’t survive the snort” because I really don’t want mosquito bites on my brain. They’d be a bitch to scratch! Besides this week is crazy enough without the added pressure of itchy brain.
The thing is, I can’t figure out how a mosquito managed to make it into my fortress of solitude.
I swear, the cats are trying to kill me … either that or keep me continuously high cause I’m a pushover when I’m drugged!
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