This was a 10 minute writing exercise. Other than fixing punctuation and capitalization, I’ve left it as is. Dangling participle and all. I apologize for that.

I have been disenchanted with my job for a little while now. My responsibilities changed last September to include more construction related documents and less accounting. I’m comfortable with numbers, I understand them. I do not understand furring and what the difference is between batt and thermal insulation. I’m not stupid, I just don’t care. In a big way! I’ve slowly become more unhappy as the months pass and there doesn’t seem to be anything else for me to do.

This feeling is now beginning to carry over into my “at home” life. Before I was okay at work (not thrilled, but not unhappy) but I got to go home to my business where I could do things I liked doing and do them my way. And it was okay. Now, I’m not as happy at home either because I’m stressing about what’s happening at work.

Ideally, I would love it if I could just walk out and work for myself. The store traffic is picking up a bit because the Christmas season is coming (I know, scary right?) but it’s not nearly enough to replace my salary. I keep playing the lottery, but that’s not working either. So what do I do?

I have a job, which, in this economy, says a lot. I have an okay paying job that gives me two weeks vacation and a bonus, which, even though it’s gotten smaller every year, is still something extra every december. We didn’t get raises last year, actually, we had to take a pay cut but that way the owners could keep more people on the payroll. And it wasn’t enough to make a huge difference. I’m sure if I got paid more, it would hurt more, but not for my paycheck. The owners and the people in my office, for the most part, are very nice. It’s just the subject matter of the work I can’t get into.

I’m a creative person. I have really cool ideas. I can’t always carry them out because the creativity doesn’t seem to extend to my hands. It’s all in my mind. But where I’m at now, I’m not using any of it. And I miss that.

There is an opening at the local college. It’s for an entry level position in today’s version of the typing pool. You’d fill in for people going on vacation. There would be a lot of answering phones and filing. But there’s always the possibility of another, better job opening, and I’m pretty sure they try to hire from within first. So, do I chuck everything I’ve done for the past five years to go back to the beginning, with the chance of a better job on the horizon? Or do I stick it out and see whether anything opens here that suits me better? I’m not sure there is anything in construction that I am well suited for.

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